5/2/20: Occasional Notes, vol. 2: every day is leg day

One morning I had a missed FaceTime call from my sister’s phone, though, I learned later, not from my sister. Now that Sticky Fingers has learned to operate all manner of devices, including apps, I am apparently tops on her list of people to try to talk to at 7:24 am.

John has this book called The Daily Stoic which marries quotations from famous stoic philosophers with modern commentary/interpretation. Later that morning we tried to FaceTime my mother so we could share our daily reading with her, I don’t judge whatever weird shit your family is doing together, but it was 11:30 and therefore lunchtime and thus the only audience made available to us was Sticky Fingers herself. She likes to put her face right up to the camera and shout CASEY CASEY CASEY, which is in part why I avoid the pre-8 am calls. She wants to know where John is, she wants me to show her my bathroom, then she’s disappeared from view and I hear, off-camera, Wait wait wait, don’t do that, and my sister picks up the phone to show me where the puppy is holed up in the far corner of the laundry room, you know there is a LOT going on when even the puppy needs to take a break.

I saw tweet somewhere, a man writing something like, “My wife and I are playing a fun quarantine game called, ‘Why do you do it like that?’ There are no winners.” I am hashtag RELATE on that one. I have lived alone for ten thousand years and I have very definitive ways in which things are done. John’s ways of doing those same things are not always the same as my ways so now we follow each other around the house saying, “Why do you do it like THAT,” which is a fun way to pass the time.

The bird is a big deal. Thwack thwack thwack. He starts early in the morning, six, seven am. His dumb little bird feet are muddy from how wet it’s been and so he’s left an impressive trail of dumb little bird-foot smudges down his preferred door. If I hang a towel over that spot, he’ll sort of halfheartedly attack the other panel of the door but it’s not the same. Sometimes I get lonely and I take the towel down and poof! within minutes he’s back. My father told us to hang up a picture of a dead robin, to make the bird feel accomplished, but we’ve decided to pretend like we’re his personal trainers. Leg day, we shout at him when he first shows up each morning. It’s leg day, bird! He gathers himself and flies up to kick at the door again, Yes, bird! Get some, bird!

***

One day I was FaceTiming with my mother, I talk to SO. MANY. PEOPLE. now. I was showing her the trail mix and explaining how John had gone through BOTH packages and picked out ALL the walnuts and a lot of the dried cranberries. He came flying out of his room to defend himself, yelling, “I gave you a CHOICE!” and sure I guess if you ask a person whether they would rather be stranded on a desert island with an almond or a walnut that’s kind of a choice, but I’m not sure that when a person answers “almond,” thinking about what a versatile nut that is, you have then been given license to go through the trail mix and pick out all the walnuts. 

Another day, this time talking to the old man. He read an article about what it’s like to be intubated, on a ventilator, and decided that’s not for him. “If I get it,” he told me, “just go ahead and dig a hole.” This kicked off negotiations: I am willing to dig the hole, but I want to know if I can squish him so I don’t have to dig as much, digging holes is not easy work. Maybe I could get the tree saw involved? He doesn’t care, do whatever you want, he told me, squish away. He’s always been an easy-going guy.

***

There’s a basket of assorted animals, including an impressive array of plastic dinosaurs, under the coffee table and I got them out one Junie FT day, desperate times, desperate measures, etc. I got some kind of awkward half-puppet show going and three minutes in I was sweating like crazy, I couldn’t remember the dinosaurs’ names or which one had an accent, I knew Alistair was supposed to sound British and I was pretty sure he was orange but I really should have made a cast list before I got myself mixed up with running a full-scale production of plastic dinosaurs.

The next time I saw June, she asked how the dinosaurs were. Sleeping, I told her, and that worked for about three minutes. John was in his room, but I had no qualms about standing outside his door and saying very loudly, “I wonder if anyone wants to go with me to visit the dinosaurs.” He had the door open before I’d finished my sentence that man is a born performer. He once told me offhandedly that he didn’t pay any attention in high school because he was going to be an actor. I asked if he regretted that once he shifted his focus away from the theater. He thought about it for a second: “Nah.”

June made her Most! Excited! face when John flung open his door and the two of them got started trading screams while I got the dinosaurs out. Junie would scream, then John would scream back, and this went on for a minute when John let loose a scream so loud that June stopped, her face blank. “Wow,” she said, and turned and walked away.

You just out-screamed a TWO year old, I told him, and if you want to know what it’s like to be roommates with this guy, well, there you go. He also makes the most elaborate artisanal toasts for us most mornings, three types of cheese and two kinds of pepper and a drizzling of olive oil. I do most of the rest of the cooking, which is fine because it turns out John is like a Depression-era housewife, or a British lady of the manor during the Blitz. He’s got ten thousand ideas for ways to stretch an ingredient and he’ll happily sit on a stool and keep me company while I work up one of his creations. I don’t trust him to do the grocery shopping—he’d just fill the cart with Chloe Pops and coffee—but the man can make a list and supervise the heck out of me, his silent, brooding, downstairs maid.

***

I’ve been sewing masks, of course, because every person in the country who has a sewing machine has SPRUNG to attention and rallied to this (homemade) banner: it is SUCH a pleasure to find our skills are finally useful. I’ve shipped out 78 so far and the only fly in my soup is that I bought a machine up here (since I hadn’t brought mine from home, though John told me over and over I should just pack it and okay, he was RIGHT, UGH I wish I had that machine) and it’s kind of a shitty one and I’m having a ton of trouble with the tension on the bobbin thread. That means that sometimes the stitches are fine and sometimes they’re fine on one side but all gnarled and loopy on the other side and it physically hurts me to send those nasty little sh*ts out into the world but I don’t really have a choice, I can’t unpick and resew every single seam, especially since the bobbin thread keeps getting messed up, so if you have a mask I made, know that in my heart of hearts I am weeping over what that bobbin thread has done.

***

We’ve been buying those bags of cuties or whatever dumb thing those little mini oranges called and while we eat a lot of them, we’re just two people and those things come in a three-pound bag. The other night John had gone to bed and I was just wandering around the house drinking some bourbon and tidying up, as one does. I used my liquid courage to ruthlessly cull the shriveled-up cuties from the pile, sorry little guys, no one is going to eat you. But even a couple of bourbons deep I was feeling sad about putting them in the trash which is how around 10 pm on a Tuesday I came to be out on the deck throwing fruit into the lake. It turns out it is hugely satisfying to throw fruit from the deck into the lake, which isn’t that far but is kinda far, far enough to make a person feel pretty accomplished each time she hears the tell-tale plop of a little cutie going home to mother nature.

The next morning John took his coffee out onto the deck, he’s one of those deep-breaths-of-brisk-morning-air people, and came back inside with a weird look on his face. “Can I ask you a question,” he started, which is never a good sign. “Do you know why there is a tangerine on the dock?”


“It’s a mandarin,” I told him, and just then the bird showed up for his morning workout. Thwack, thwack. “Yeah, bird!” I shouted, easing off my stool and using the distraction to slink away. I went down to the water and threw the cutie in properly, job DONE, and the morning was so beautiful that I hung out on the dock for a few minutes, watching the cutie bob away, listening to the thwack of the bird flying into the door over and over again. Just another Wednesday, time to get to work, every day is leg day, right, bird? I checked my phone, almost 8 am, time to go wake up the dinosaurs and get ready for whatever this day, Wednesday?, whichday, who knows, might be about to bring.

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